A harsh and much needed conversation with…myself!

After polishing off the leftover-from-the-weekend salted dark chocolate brownie bites and candied praline pecans (both from Trader Joe’s), along with a couple of Brach’s cinnamon hearts, a caramel roll, a few bites of caramel sea salt gelato and a banana – yes, quite out of place wouldn’t you say – I decided that enough is FINALLY enough and it’s time to put on my big girl panties and dig myself out of this rut I am in. Oh, I should probably mention that all of that was before noon, today.

I decided it was time to have a little conversation with myself. A reality check of sorts. A come-to-Jesus-meeting, if you will. Here’s what I said:

“Yes, it’s winter. Yes, it’s friggin’ cold. Yes, it’s miserable outside. Yes, it’s almost the anniversary of your sister’s death (it will be three years this Friday, January 31).  But seriously girl, it’s time to quit being so dang lazy, quit eating to try and make yourself feel better, warmer or whatever it is you think the food is going to help. It’s time to get your head in the game and out of your behind. It’s time to get your lazy butt off the couch. It’s time to seriously quit feeling sorry for yourself and time to quit thinking everyone else has it so easy. Quit being jealous of others. They work harder, are more committed, have more dedication and also have struggles just like you. No one is perfect. You tell your members that ALL the time. You motivate people (or at least TRY to motivate people) every day. It is time to motivate yourself. Pick yourself up out of this rut and get moving, get tracking, get back to healthier eating. Just get back to it. NOW! And remember, ACTION speaks louder than WORDS!”

It was a good conversation to say the least. It was exactly what I needed to hear from myself. Because I work for Weight Watchers and try to be an inspiration for so many, I do sometimes forget that I am human, too. Even though I say it all the time to my members, sometimes, I just forget. I don’t ever try to be perfect – there’s is no such thing. But sometimes, I forget that I need motivation. I need guidance. I need inspiration. I need help, just like my members. Just because I lost dang near 60 pounds (okay, I did, but I don’t maintain that 60-pound loss. I maintain a 50-55 pound loss!), doesn’t mean that I got this healthier lifestyle down pat. It is still – after five years – a struggle from time to time.

And even though I do get jealous of others – there are four bloggers/friends in particular – I also look to them for inspiration. It’s time for me to quit being jealous of these four individuals and start listening to them, start feeding off of them for inspiration and using them as motivation.

These four individuals make it look so easy, but I am guessing it is not as easy for them as people think and I am thinking (or at least kind of, sort of hoping) that they have their own personal struggles as well. So, my four bloggers/friends, I need your help, your assistance, your guidance, your awesome selfs to show me the way back to a healthier lifestyle. Please keep up your amazingly awesome blogs so that I can use your wisdom and words to get my mojo back.

Jim, erin, Katie and Lee, thanks for being you and thanks for being my inspiration, motivation and truly, my heroes. You may not know this, but I look up to all of you with so much love and admiration, and yes, at times, with so much jealousy. But I need you all. Thank you for helping me find my way.

I am going to leave you with some of my favorite quotes and words of wisdom that have helped me before and are going to help me again.

“What you eat in private, you wear in public.”

“Change is not an event. It is a process.”

“Every day is a good day for a run.”

“We don’t fail. We learn. It’s called feedback, not failing.”

“There is no finish line. So love the journey.”

“Diets start and end. A healthier lifestyle is a journey, so enjoy the ride.”

A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step.”

“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”

“There are three C’s in life: Choice. Chance. Change. You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change.”

“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.”

There are so many more inspiring quotes and words of wisdom out there. If you have some to share, please share them here or go to my Confessions of a [former] Fat Girl Facebook page and leave them there. I would surely appreciate it.

I am asking for help. In any way you can. Thank you. All of you are greatly appreciated.

You can find my Confessions of a [former] Fat Girl Facebook page here, my own Facebook page here and you can also find me on Instagram. And if you really want, feel free to send me an email at celbeam@gmail.com, encouraging words mean so much!

I am not going back to this:

This is where I want to be – at my happiest and healthiest ever in my life:

9 thoughts on “A harsh and much needed conversation with…myself!

  1. You’re awesome Celeste, and remember that every day is a new beginning. If yesterday was a bad day, it doesn’t mean that today has to be. You’re an inspiration to everyone carrying around extra weight, and needing help losing it. Take care and have a great day!

  2. It’s so interesting to read your prospective on this, because *I* feel jealous of others who make it seem so easy! I assure you, if it seems easy for me by what I write on my blog, it’s FAR from it. Keeping the weight off is a struggle, always… and I always live with this fear that I’m going to gain the weight back. I feel guilty sometimes, because so many people tell me that I’m an inspiration, but I don’t always *feel like* one. But you’re right, we can never be perfect, so we might as well do the best we can and be happy with it! ;)

    • Actually, Katie, I do know you struggle. And that is one thing I love about reading your blog. You are REAL! You tell it like it is. One of my favorite blogs of yours is when you talked about the kitchen safe. I haven’t gotten one yet, but I will have one someday. I know the food part for you is a major struggle and I think that is why I connected with you from the very beginning. Thanks for being real and being you. You are awesome!

      I will admit, though, it’s your running that gets me. It’s the running part that I envy and am jealous of (sometimes!). Sometimes, I wish I just had a little more dedication in that area. I have been really slacking lately. I had every intention of doing your virtual 5K for your birthday and I completely gapped it. I felt so horrible when I remembered. And what was I doing? Absolutely nothing. Sitting in a hotel room with my hubby being 100% lazy. But….there is always NEXT YEAR!

      Keep up your terrific blog. Love you and love what you do!

  3. YOU are an inspiration, Celeste! Always remember that! We all have bad days, and it’s ok to have dark chocolate or ice cream at breakfast sometimes; I’d be lying if I said I never did :) No one’s perfect – myself included – and it’s far from easy (getting on my bike in about 10 minutes sounds much less inviting than sleeping for another 90 minutes!), but what fun would life be if we were?! One thing that’s helped me lately: Is this food going to fuel my swimbikerun… how will it make me FEEL if I eat it? If the answer is terrible, I’ll won’t eat it or will just have a bite or two :)

    Anyway, take it in stride, move on and keep your head up. Thank you for your motivation and inspiration, every single day!

    • Thanks so much, erin! I surely appreciate your encouraging words. And I love the part about you asking how it will make you feel. I have just started asking myself, “Is it worth it?” before I decide to eat something that isn’t the best for me. Sometimes, it works, and sometimes, it doesn’t. But I like the whole, “How is it going to make me feel?” because almost inevitably, the answer is crappy! And I really don’t like to feel crappy. Thanks again, erin. Your words are encouraging! And keep up your awesome blog!

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