So, okay, I have been doing some thinking. Long and hard thinking. Which by the way, I do from time to time. Surprising, isnâ€™t it? That I do, indeed, think.
Anyway, in my last post, I said I was going to give up running. When I wrote that blog entry, I was not in a good place â€“ mentally, not literally.
I felt defeatedâ€¦for more than one reason. After the race in St. Cloud, I really did struggle to breathe; my lungs ached and I coughed and wheezed more than any other race Iâ€™ve participated in.
It wasnâ€™t what I was expecting. I guess I am always expecting more.
But see, the thing is, it was cold and damp that morning, plus the run included at least four hills (or what I consider hills because I am a novice runner). Sometimes, I donâ€™t take everything into consideration. I focus too much on my time â€“ not on my breathing â€“ and I think I have finally realized I need to let go of that â€“ my time, not my breathing. I know I have to breathe while running!
And speaking of time, I was really shooting for 30 minutes or at least 31 minutes and I ran it in 32 minutes and 19 seconds. I knowâ€¦learn to let go, right? Yes. I have since let go.
And since I wrote my whining blog about wanting to quit, I have received plenty of feedback. Surprisingly, more people have told me to go ahead and quit and that it is okay to do so. Iâ€™m not sure why, but I was surprised by that.
I think in the back of my mind, when I wrote it, I was looking for some encouragement. I was looking for a hint of glimmer or that little bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, I was making the wrong the decision and that I shouldnâ€™t give up. At least not without checking with my doctor first.
I was looking for what I believe I provide to others on a regular basis â€“ inspiration.
I was down and I needed just a little pick-me-up. Donâ€™t we all need that sometime?
Well, I got my inspiration, but not in a post or comment on my blog site (athough there were a couple of inspiring ones!). I got my biggest inspiration from a former co-worker and friend of mine who sent me an email, an email I wanted to receive from her.
She is and has been an inspiration to me through most of my journey. She doesnâ€™t really know it, but she is my positive reinforcement when things arenâ€™t going the right direction or when I need a little pick-me-up. She always seems to know when I need a little something, a little nudge. Not sure how, but she always sends me a message when I need it the most. So, thanks to the running, yoga and biking queen who rules the roads now in St. Paul/Minneapolis.
Erin, you truly inspire me.
Thanks for your words of wisdomâ€¦and encouragement.
In addition to Erinâ€™s email, I received some inspiration from a couple of conversations I had and from a personal message on my personal Facebook page.
Thanks to all of you who gave me what I needed.
And, I also have to give a HUGE thanks to my husband. I kind of shot him down in my last blog post and that wasnâ€™t very fair. He encourages and inspires all the time and I thank him for it. Sometimes, I think he doesnâ€™t understand, but then we talk and I realize just how much he truly does understand me and gets where I am coming from. Thanks, Al, for always being there for meâ€¦listening, encouraging and loving me for me.
I am gearing up for this Saturdayâ€™s 10K in Fargo and I truly am looking forward to it. And I have already made up my mind that I donâ€™t care what my time is. I care only that I finishâ€¦.without walking any of it!