Monthly Archives: August 2010

Sunday was an all-out food fest : (

Posted on by
2

Wow, I haven’t had a day like I did yesterday in a really, really long time. Not exactly sure (although I might have a guess) what happened to me, but I completely lost control. And I mean completely. It wasn’t very pretty, but because I am real and because I have always shared the goods – and the bads – I am going to share with you what happened yesterday even though for the first time, I am a little embarrassed. Really, I am.

First, I am going to back up to Saturday, which was a great day. Because I had posted the other day about how I was going to start exercising again on Saturday, I had to do it. I didn’t want to let anybody down. I was dreading exercising outside because 1. It was hot. and 2. It was windier than windy. So, I decided what the heck and jumped on my treadmill. Now, some of you know that I really don’t like running on my treadmill,  but for some reason, I knew that if I was going to get in a run on Saturday, it was going to be on my treadmill. And you know what? I actually didn’t mind it. I did a total of five miles. That’s the longest run I have ever had on my treadmill. I turned it into a game and really pushed myself. I would run really, really fast for a couple of minutes than jump off for 30 seconds to catch my breath and then when I jumped back on, I would run a little slower and then I would crank it up again. I repeated that the whole time. Really, it was kind of fun. I was VERY glad I did it.

Saturday evening, our friends, Brad and Linda, came over and we made kabobs. They brought a bunch of stuff from their garden and it was AWESOME. I ate a huge plate full of food, but it was all good because most of what was on my plate was veggies. I also had a few pieces of steak and a couple pieces of chicken. Seriously, it was so good. Here’s a picture of just the veggies:

Well, besides the food, we also had wine. Unfortunately, I think that is where my problem on Sunday came from….I am pretty sure I had too much wine! I am not a prude in any way, shape or form (which I think Brad and Linda found out on Saturday night), but I really don’t drink that much anymore. My husband and I have wine with our Saturday night meals, but I don’t usually get drunk. Well, not sure what happened Saturday night, but yep, I was. We had a really good time, but wow, did I pay for it on Sunday.

So really, was Sunday that bad? Yes, it was. I actually felt fine, but I was HUNGRY. Really, really hungry. So, here goes…this is a list of everything I ate on Sunday. No jokes. This is true. And it really is ridiculous.

My food fest included (in no particular order): A taco bravo and large potato oles from Taco John’s with a side of the house dressing (which by the way, I haven’t had Taco John’s in about two years), two big bowls of Lucky Charms, a sloppy Joe sandwich, a huge salad with lots of cheese, croutons, tomatoes and a creamy-based dressing (I didn’t make it, we had it at my nieces birthday party), corn on the cob with butter (I usually use the spray butter stuff), tons of watermelon, three pieces of cake (yep, you read it right, three), tons of Doritos and cheese and crackers. And I drank a ton…diet 7Up and water, lots of water.

So, I am mad about Sunday. No, not really. Disappointed? Maybe. But like I said, though, I am probably more just a little embarrassed. Mostly about the cake (They weren’t small pieces by any means). I mean, really, did I have to eat THREE pieces of cake?  No, but dang it was so good.

If you are wondering if I tallied up my Weight Watchers points, I am guessing you already know the answer. Nope. I didn’t. I just know it would have been a ton.

Well, it’s Monday, the start of a new week. Time for a fresh start. And I am so looking forward to it.

Life

Posted on by
2

Well, it certainly has been awhile, hasn’t it. Sorry about that. Sometimes, I feel like if I don’t really have a lot to say, then why would any of you want to read. Right? Plus, life has all of sudden gotten really busy. Not sure why,  but it has.

Things are going…well…um…okay. I guess.

My eating has been fine, I still have been having my treats, maybe a little too often lately, but for some reason, my life has been stressful. Not sure why. Maybe because it has become busier all of a sudden.

I haven’t been doing a very good job of logging lately on my Weight Watchers site lately, but I keep a mental note of what I have eaten and it seems to be going okay…for now. My weight hasn’t suffered any…meaning I haven’t had any significant gains. Thank goodness, right. It seems I now hover between the 139, 140, 141 range. I did dip down to 137 one morning, but that didn’t last. Even though I often tell people not to weigh themselves every day, I can’t help but do it myself.

I know, it’s stupid. But for me, it’s a good way to keep a handle on it. It is now part of my routine in the morning. Right before I get in the shower, I hop on the scale. It really is amazing, though, how much a person’s weight can fluctuate from day to day. Not really from week to week, but day to day, wow. It’s crazy. Sometimes it can change two or even three pounds. Weird, isn’t it. Anyway, I am pretty happy with my weight right now. Actually, I am kind of ecstatic about it. Seriously, I have not been this weight since before my son was born and he will be 17 next month. Wow!

As for my exercise…well, let’s see…I haven’t done a stitch since last Saturday when Al (that’s my hubby for those who may not know) and I ran the 5K in Vining. I have taken a slight break, but will be jumping back on the horse tomorrow morning. The weather has been great for running, too, but my schedule lately, for some reason, hasn’t allowed me to get out there and run. Plus, I have been extremely tired. Which, really, is probably from not exercising. I do always have more energy when I exercise. I really do. But like I said, I will be jumping into it again tomorrow.

I have to…our 10K run is in one month and 12 days!

I know I have said this before, but I like to put a reminder out there for any new readers. You can find me – Confessions of  a Fat Girl – on Facebook. Also, if you ever have any questions you want me to answer, send me an email to confessionsofaformerfatgirl@gmail.com.

50…fifty…five zer-oh!

Posted on by
3

So, what’s with the number? It is the total pounds I have lost since I started Weight Watchers nearly two years ago.

As many of you know, I began my journey to a healthier lifestyle on November 19, 2008. Last August, I think it was the 15th to be exact, I reached the goal that was set for me, which was 155 pounds. When my leader at WW set my goal, it was at the top of the weight range chart for what I should weigh based on my height, which is five-feet, six-inches tall. The healthy weight range for people my height is between 124 and 155 pounds. The weight ranges used by Weight Watchers is based on Body Mass Index (BMI).

I distinctly remember the day she set my goal…I was terrified. I thought there is no way in God’s green Earth that I can reach this goal. I knew immediately what I was going to do…I was going to get a note from my doctor explaining that 155 wasn’t the number for me and that I should probably be at 160 instead. Yes, that was exactly what I was going to do.

Well, I am glad I didn’t because I have finally reached the 50-pound mark and have stayed here consistently the last couple of weeks. I am happy and proud to say that I not only reached my WW weight goal of 155, I surpassed it! I am now 15 – YES, FIFTEEN – pounds UNDER my goal weight. I have reached 140 pounds!

And although I have talked before about how numbers shouldn’t matter when it comes to clothing, women can’t lie, the numbers do matter. I try hard not to let them matter, but I’m sorry, they do. How stupid, I know. But anyway, I went from a size 14-16 to now, sizes 4, 6 and occasionally 8.

I couldn’t be more happier.

It’s fair time!

Posted on by
Reply

Well, it’s that time of year again…time for the Douglas County Fair. And everyone knows what the fair means – FOOD!

I have plans to be at the fair tonight, tomorrow and Saturday and yes, I will be eating fair food. Some. Not a lot. Just a little. Enough to be satisfied.

I work at the newspaper booth at the fair all three of those days and for the most part, I will be bringing my own food. Yes, to some that probably sounds weird. Really weird. But seriously, as much as I like the “Patty Wicken Corn Dogs,” I don’t think I could eat one every single day. Sorry, Patty. Last year year at this time, I probably could have. And the year before that, I know I would have.

My husband and I will be working the newspaper booth together tomorrow night and that is when I plan on eating my deliciously yummy corn dog. I only eat corn dogs at the Douglas County Fair and I only eat them from the Wickens’ food stand. They are by far the best corn dogs I have every had. (And let me tell you, I have had my share of corn dogs. I used to eat them whenever I could!)

For tonight, I am bringing my supper with me…I won’t indulge in the fair food yet. My supper consists of three pieces of Oscar Meyer smoked turkey (.5 WW pts); one Thomas bagel thin (1 pt); two dill pickles (0 pts); about a cup and a half of cherry tomatoes (.5 pts); an apple (1 pt); a WW string cheese (1 pt); a cup of raw carrots (0 pts); one container of Jell-O sugar-free, 60-calorie pudding in the dulce de leche flavor; and maybe some grapes, about a cups worth (1 pt). All that food for a total of five points. Yes, only five points. I am all about quantity people. I like to eat a lot and so I try to find low-point food so I can get more bang for my buck, so to speak.

But tomorrow night, I know I will be eating a corn dog, which is probably worth between six and eight points. But I don’t care. It’s worth it to me. And I will enjoy every single bite of that corn dog. The best part is I will eat it without any guilt because tomorrow morning, I already know I will be working out for about an hour…maybe more.

And for some reason, I am finally to the point where I don’t mind working out because that means I can treat myself. And that’s what it’s all about!

I’m here again…and rambling on.

Posted on by
3

Okay, so here’s to my first post in the new blog setting. I have to be honest, I sure wish they would have just kept it the the way it was before. I liked AreaVoices just the way it was. But, I guess the powers that be didn’t and felt a change was needed. Sure wish they would have gotten input from the people who use the site. Oh well…right. I guess I have to just move forward. Nothing much more I can do.

So, I moving forward. I guess.

My life has been great as of late. Most of it anyway. Sometimes, I wish I was exercising a little more, but work and other obligations get in the way. Life, I guess, just happens and I in all honest, I let it get in the way. I use it as an excuse, I guess. Because really, if you want it bad enough, you’ll make time for whatever it is you want. Right?

I strive to do some kind of sweat-inducing exercise at least four days a week, but I always feel much better when it’s five or six days a week. But I use excuses like I’m to tired, I’m too busy, I don’t have time right now, I just don’t feel like it. We’ve all been there. We’ve all done it. But we can change. Like I said, if it is something you truly, truly want. You can do it. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Period.

Well, I am starting to not beat myself up so much when I eat something “naughty” – like Cold Stone Creamery ice cream or whatever sweet, high-calorie, high-fat, oh-so-not-good-for-me treat is tempting me at the time. I am starting to understand and feel, if you will, the balance of exercising and treating myself every now and then. I get that I can eat the foods I obsess about as long as I exercise. AND, most importantly, I don’t eat those deliciously ooey-gooey goody treats all the time. They are simply what they are…treats. Treats to savor, treats to eat once in awhile, not everyday.

You know, really, it all makes sense, doesn’t it? If I eat crap food every day and don’t do any type of exercising, I know what’s going to happen. I am going to get fat. If I eat crap once in awhile and exercise on a regular basis, I am not going to gain weight, I am going to maintain and be healthy…or at least a lot healthier. Right? Yes, that is right. But why do we make it so hard? That’s the stupid part.

So why do we do it? Why do we let ourselves, well, to put it bluntly, get fat? Why do we let ourselves gain five pounds here, five pounds there and then all of sudden we weigh close to or more than 200 pounds? I mean, really, WHY do we do it? We don’t like ourselves when we do. We all feel better when we are thinner, not skinny, but thinner and healthier. We feel better about ourselves…inside and out. We dress better. We stand taller. We have more confidence. We exude happiness.

My answer to some of my own questions can probably be summed up in just a few words. Laziness. Too content. No motivation. No desire. Society.

I know it’s not easy to maintain a healthy weight. Really, truly, it’s not and anybody who says it is, I believe, is lying. But, we can do it. If I can do it, anybody can do it. It’s all in the mind. You have to want it. Truly, truly want it. Then, go after it. AND don’t let anything get in the way. No more excuses. As the Nike slogan says, JUST DO IT!

Changes to my blog…please be patient

Posted on by
1

Okay, so I should have maybe done this sooner, but unfortunately, I am a procrastinator. Yes, I really am…ask anyone who knows me. They can attest to it!

Well, after tomorrow, my blog on AreaVoices will be upgraded. The site is changing to the WordPress blogging software, which apparently, according to the dudes/dudettes at AreaVoices, will give me a myriad of new options and dozens of gorgeous themes. Okay. Whatever, I guess.

All I really know is that there are going to be some changes taking place and I am asking that you bear with me…er…AreaVoices…while the changes are made. 

For right now, my website address for my blog is www.areavoices.com/fatgirl. However, after the upgrade, my website address is apparently going to be www.fatgirl.areavoices.com. So, I think that means if by chance you have me bookmarked, the bookmark is not going to work. Or maybe it will direct you to the new website. Honestly, I really have no clue what is going to happen.

All I know is that starting tomorrow, Tuesday, August 10, there are going to be some changes and all I ask is that you don’t give up if the website doesn’t work. If you can’t get it to work, just Google "Confessions of a Fat Girl" and hopefully I will be one of the first things that pops up.

Thanks to all my faithful readers, as well as all the newbies out there who take the time to read my ramblings. If all else fails and you can’t find me, send me an email at confessionsofaformerfatgirl@gmail.com. I will hopefully be able to give you my new website address after the changes are made.

Take care my dear readers and hopefully you can find me after tomorrow!

A letter to my friend

Posted on by
Reply

I had a good friend of mine send me an email the other day, asking me questions about what I’ve done. She told me I looked beautiful (which made me get all teary-eyed) and wanted to know a few things about my journey. 

Although this is information I have put out here before, I thought I would share my letter to her with the rest of you. It came from the heart and I hope you enjoy it:

Okay, so here’s the thing..first off, thanks for the compliments and letting me know you think I look beautiful. That warms my heart and is much appreciated.

Second, I will answer your questions:
Do I have more energy now that I eat better?
Well, actually, not necessarily. I actually have more energy because of the exercise I do. If I don’t exercise for a couple of days, I start to feel really, really sluggish. It’s kind of weird, really. I eat crap and don’t exercise then yes, I don’t have any energy at all. Maybe it’s the combination of the two.

Was it hard in the beginning?
Oh how I wish I could say it wasn’t, but I won’t and can’t lie to you. Yes, it was very hard and many times, I wanted to give up and yes, there were times, I did give up…for a day or two, but then I would jump right back into it. It was hard, but at the same time, I was really determined and sick and tired of the dieting roller coaster I had been on…many, many times before. This time, I didn’t look at it as a "DIET," I looked at it as a lifestyle change. I made up my mind from the beginning that if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right this time. I knew I had to change. Not only what I was eating and what I was doing, but my attitude. I had to change from the inside before I could change what was on the outside. I realized that if I was going to do this, I needed to do it for me and I knew that it had to be up to me to make the changes. I couldn’t rely on pills, shakes, "diets" or whatever claimed to be quick and easy because like I said it’s not easy and it sure as shit ain’t quick. I took it five pounds at a time. And there were times when it took me four, five or even six weeks to lose those five pounds. My average weight loss, after all was said and done, was only .8 pounds per week…..point eight, that’s less than a pound a week. I lost a total of 48 pounds so you can figure it out how long it took.

How do I get past the hunger stages?
This is kind of an easy answer. Determination and willpower. But I won’t lie, there were – actually are – times when I have neither. It is still a daily struggle. It truly is. Anyone who says it’s easy to be healthy and fit is a liar.

So, really, what has helped me the most? To be honest, Weight Watchers was a huge part of it, a key part of the whole puzzle. I started in November of 2008 and until I actually started working for Weight Watchers, which was in March of this year, I think I missed one meeting. Not everyone has the opportunity/chance/finances/time/whatever it may be to go to Weight Watchers , but I did and I am so thankful and feel so fortunate for that.

Another thing is, I had the support at home. Al has been behind me since day one. Because he does most of the cooking, he has adapted and changed the way he cooks. He cooks much healthier now and modifies recipes if need be. We eat pretty simple. Some kind of grilled meat (steak, chicken, pork, hamburgers) and some kind of veggie side dish. I can’t begin to explain how thankful I am for the support I have from him, as well as Brandon. Brandon (my son) has played a large part in this as well and has been my "cheerleader" so to speak from the beginning.

Well, I have probably wasted enough of your time. If you would ever like to hear more or if you would like to get together and we can talk more about this, I would love to. I would love to help and support you in any way I can. I truly would. Just let me know what I can do for you.

By the way, Tracy, you don’t look bad. You are gorgeous. You looked awesome in your dress on Saturday night and seriously, your hair is friggin’ awesome. I so love it. AND, you are not only beautiful on the outside, but you are beautiful on the inside. You just have to believe in that.

Take care of yourself and let me know if you would like to get together.

Love always,
Cel

My goal with my blog is not only to use it as a tool for myself, to help keep me accountable, but I write it in hopes of helping other people, others who are or were just like me. I put myself out there so that people can see they are not in this alone. I struggle just like everyone else. But I have made the change to a better, healthier lifestyle and I do love it. Truly, I do. Yes, there are bumps along the way, but that’s all part of it. I think I have said this before, but it’s the bumps that make us stronger. Right? 

If anyone has questions or wants to know anything about me or my journey, please ask. There’s not much I don’t talk about. If you would like to send me an email with a question or two, go ahead, I would love to hear from you. Send your questions, comments, ramblings to confessionsofaformerfatgirl@gmail.com. Also, you can find Confessions of a Fat Girl on Facebook. Look me up, become a fan. I would love to have you.

Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read my blog. I appreciate each and every one of you.

Emotional eating!

Posted on by
Reply

We’ve all been there at one point or another. We’re mad, sad, depressed, angry, lonely, stressed or for that matter, happy, ecstatic, overjoyed or whatever emotion it might be at the time. And whatever emotion happens to be the trigger, food is the only thing that seems to be the answer. 

Or so we think.

One week each year, my husband has some monster hours at work and I really don’t get to see him much. I maybe see him for five or 10 minutes in the morning and then at night, he gets home long after I go to bed. Okay, yes, we work together each and every day, but he sits in his office and I sit in my cubicle. We see each other in passing, but we don’t spend time together. Quality time.

I have to admit, this is not a fun time for me. I am one of those lucky, fortunate women who happens to love her husband dearly and enjoys spending time with him. Lots of time with him. I can’t even begin to explain how much I miss him during this week. Foolish to some, I know. Because of this, because of him not being here and me missing him so much, I kind of get in this funk. 

A bad funk. A not-so-fun funk. A downright, dark and lonely funk, to be completely honest. I feel lost and almost abandoned. Really, I’m not kidding. Yes, it’s that bad. I know, stupid, huh? I can’t help it.

So what do you think helps me through this funk? Yep, you guessed it, food. I am emotional, therefore I eat. I am lonely, therefore I eat. I am sad, therefore I eat. But it’s not necessarily that I eat A LOT of food during this funk-week of mine, I just eat bad food. I eat junk-ish food. Easy food. Not meals. Just food. Food items. A bag of popcorn here, a candy bar there. Some leftover pasta here, maybe a turkey sandwich there. A McDonald’s ice cream cone here, a Weight Watchers snack cake there. A bowl of cereal here, a piece of chocolate there. See what I’m saying. No actual meals. Just crap.

I do actually try to stay pretty busy with stuff so I don’t eat. However, the "stuff" I busy myself with usually includes my couch and the television or my desk chair and computer. Or maybe a trip to Target or the grocery store or the mall. When I get in my funk, I also don’t do much exercising either. I do sleep a lot, though, so I guess that’s good.

It’s actually pretty funny if I end up going to the grocery store because I think to myself, "Screw it, just go get some ice cream or cookies or whatever and be done with it." I have bad intentions when I walk into the store. I will walk up and down the aisles – always having a conversation with myself in my head about what food – what BAD food – I am going to buy.

For instance, tonight I went to the store to buy some ice cream, some really good, creamy, fattening, ooey-gooey ice cream. I also checked out the cakes, the cookies, the bars and the doughnuts. They all looked good, but luckily, I walked out with only two containers of yogurt and a bag of grapes. Oh, and I guess a white chocolate Kit Kat ended up in my bag as well! I guess it could have been worse, right?

Well, I have two more nights and three more days until he is done with what is known as "Hell Week," and I can’t wait. I can’t wait to have him back and I can’t wait to have our – or should I say my – routine back. Thank goodness it’s only one week out of the whole entire year!

Blues Fest, class reunion and Applebee’s

Posted on by
2

You’re probably wondering what the title of my blog means, right? Well, it’s a combination of what I did this past weekend.

On Friday night, my husband and I had the pleasure of going to the Fargo Blues Fest. It was awesome. The music was great and so was people-watching. I’m not sure about you, but I love to watch people. It is amazing how different we all are. 

Because we got to the blues fest early and knew we would be having supper there, my husband and I did the smart and cheap route…we packed a picnic. You can’t bring food into the venue because they sell food there and might I add, not the most healthy stuff. Seriously, it was ridiculous. But, whatever. I will admit, we did have to buy some kettle corn and it was so worth it. Every single kernel. I just love that stuff.

Our picnic, which we ate in the parking lot out of the trunk of my car, consisted of turkey sandwiches, pickles, raw bell peppers (red, yellow and orange), strawberries, grapes, cherries, string cheese and pretzels. My husband had some beer, while I sipped on water! The picture below shows my trunk:

Here I am enjoying my supper! It was so much fun.

 

The next day, we headed back to Alexandria, unpacked from Friday night and then repacked, got ready and headed to Willmar for my 20th year class reunion. What a hoot! Seriously, it was so much fun. Here are a few pictures from the evening. Enjoy!

My husband and I before the reunion.

My three bestest friends from high school and myself. These were our name tags for the evening. From left, Jen, Trena, Tracy and then, yep, that’s me. I can’t believe we had that big of hair! 

Here we are today. This was taken before the reunion started. From left: me, Tracy, Jen and Trena. I have to say we all look better today!

Another one of my husband and I. We were looking at the reunion book. I just love this photo!

 

The day after the reunion, after my husband and I finally woke up (we had an extremely late night…didn’t get to bed until almost 3:30 a.m.!!! That’s the latest I have stayed up in a really, really long time), we decided to go to Applebee’s. Despite going out to eat at Perkin’s after the reunion was over…yes, at around 12:30 a.m., we were starving the next morning. I was not hungover, mind you, because I only had three glasses of wine throughout the whole entire evening, but I sure felt like I was. I think it was lack of sleep. Oh, when we went to Perkins, I ate a bowl of oatmeal with sugar-free maple syrup. My friends didn’t even really pick on me for eating it! Which, I have to admit, I half expected them to.

Anyway, back to Applebee’s. Because I was starving and have been so good lately with my eating habits, I decided to treat myself. My husband and I ordered the menu item where you get an appetizer and then two entrees. We chose the boneless buffalo wings for the appetizer, he opted for the bacon cheeseburger for his meal and I decided to have the cheesy chicken penne pasta. I have not ordered pasta in a restaurant for a very long time. Well, because I was "starving," I also ordered the spinach and artichoke dip appetizer.

Yep, you probably guessed it, my eyes were way bigger than my stomach. We did eat all the buffalo wing things, which were really, really good. We ate half of the spinach and artichoke dip, which came with really good salty chips. Then, when my meal came, I think I ate maybe six bites of it. Maybe. I was so full, it was ridiculous. 

Now, here is the fun part. Or at least I think it is. Prior to beginning my healthy living journey, my husband and I would have had no problem going into Applebee’s, eating all of our appetizers, all of our main dishes AND, I know for a fact, we would have ordered, and scarfed down, one if not two desserts. 

Not this time, however. We had half of one appetizer left, my husband ate his burger, but barely touched his fries and I barely touched my meal. And, there was no way in heck we could have ordered dessert. No way.

So, for that, I was happy. Yes, I did splurge, but it wasn’t overkill. It was nice. And you want to know what the best part was? I didn’t feel one ounce of guilt. Not one.

After we got home from Willmar, we didn’t even have a chance to unpack and then we headed to the lake. We were celebrating an 80th birthday. We didn’t spend much time at the lake, however, because it was raining. Instead, we headed into Alexandria and all went out to eat at Angelina’s Restaurant. There was 10 of us. 

I ate two pieces of garlic toast, which is my favorite stuff in the whole world. Then, my husband and I shared a small green olive pizza, which is our favorite kind of pizza. He ate way more than I did. Way more. I was saving myself for, yep, you guessed it, dessert! 

I may not have had dessert at Applebee’s earlier in the day, but I had it at Angelina’s. In fact, I ate not only my dessert, which was a piece of turtle cheesecake, but I ate half of the birthday girl’s dessert, too. She didn’t want all of it. Her dessert was cheesecake, too!

And you want to know the best part, I didn’t feel guilt at all. Not one bit. 

But I did feel just a little sick!

Oh, and by the way, I didn’t figure out my Weight Watchers points the entire weekend! Sometimes, I think it might be better not knowing! : – )