Monthly Archives: July 2010

Calling all runners: I need advice/help

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As many of you know, I started running awhile back. My goal this summer was to do a 5K each month. So far, so good. Actually, I am exceeding my goal by doing two 5K runs in July and two 5k runs in August. Plus, as most of you know, my husband and I are planning on doing our first 10K in October. 

But here’s the deal. Instead of getting better at running, I am getting worse. Really, truly, I am. My guess is that the humidity is really wreaking havoc with me, but I really don’t know what is going on. And it’s getting frustrating. Really, really frustrating. I’ve starting having to walk throughout my running because I just can’t breathe. I can’t catch my breath.

And besides not being able to breathe, I have had problems with this pain I keep getting in my left side, mid-back, side, rib area. It’s kind of hard to describe, but it almost feels like my rib either shifts or breaks and then stabs me in the side/back area. The first time it happened was when we did our 5K in Fargo and I had bronchitis. Since then, I have had it once or twice, but lately it seems to be happening on almost every single run.

In addition to not being able to breathe, dealing with a back/side/rib pain, I also have started feeling sickly when I run. It usually comes on around mile 2 and lasts until I am done. It’s almost like a heartburn/nausea feeling. This may be gross, but I can usually burp my way through it. Gross, I know, but it does help.

Because of my breathing issues, I have had to slow way down, and like I said, even having to walk sometimes, and that is the frustrating part. Because I am so new to running and I haven’t really ran through the summer months before, I am just wondering…is it the humidity that’s doing it? Do other runners experience this kind of stuff? Am I the only one? 

Seriously, can someone tell me what’s going on? I am getting so frustrated with it all. I have tried running in the morning, when it’s not so hot, but most of the time, it is still humid. I have tried running later at night, when it’s cooled off, but again, the air is so thick. 

I know I am going to juts push through this. I am not going to give up. I have really started enjoying this sport. I feel so good when I am done. Well, that is after I get done having my little hissy fit, ranting and raving about how slow I ran and how I couldn’t breathe and all. After that is all done, then I feel good.

So, really, anybody got any advice? I need some tips or some reassurance that this, too, shall pass and it will get better come fall. You can either post a comment at the end of the blog or feel free to send me an email to confessionsofaformerfatgirl@gmail.com. You can also check me out on Facebook; look up Confessions of a Fat Girl and hit the "like" button. You can send me a message on there or post a comment. 

I really look forward to hearing from all you seasoned, and maybe not-so-seasoned, runners out there. Help, please!

Maybe I figured it out

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For the last few months, I have been kind of keeping track of my eating habits. Meaning, I have noticed when I get hungry for certain foods, as in sweets.

Maybe I should first put a warning on here for any men that read this blog: I am going to be talking about "girl stuff" – as in our monthly visitor. You know, "Aunt Flo," or whatever it is people say. Usually, I call it what it is…my period.

I have a pattern, as I am sure most women do. But it seems my pattern is a little different…maybe. I know a lot of women who crave sweets and junk food the week of their period. That’s where I think I am different. I actually eat more the week BEFORE my period.

And it’s weird, I’ve noticed. I’ve talked about it before, but never really put two and two together until recently. I have certain times where I am hungry and when I say hungry, I mean ravenous. To the point I shake. To the point I pretty much can’t get full and just keep eating. I can eat healthy foods like fruit and veggies and good-for-me stuff or I can eat crap. Either way, I really don’t get full. 

Well, it seems like those times have always happened the week before my period. It’s not necessarily a whole week like that, but at least two days if not three days where it seems no matter what I eat, my body just wants more. It craves something that I can’t satisfy. 

Like I said, I’ve tried the healthy stuff, the crap stuff. I’ve tried more protein during that time, more dairy, more carbs, but nothing really seems to work. It’s like my body is preparing itself for my cycle, for my period and it just needs fuel. 

Regardless of what is happening, I don’t like it. Frankly, it’s a pain in my arse. I try and keep it in check and now that I have it somewhat figured out, that I just have to deal with a few days each month like that, I can handle it better. I know it’s coming. I can somewhat prepare myself. Somewhat.

I do wish, however, that someone could explain it all to me and tell me if there is something that would help. Why? Because I don’t like feeling that I am a starved maniac. I don’t like the feeling of not being in control. I don’t like the shaky feeling I get. I don’t like that I most often eat five to 10 additional points per day when it happens. At least, I do exercise through it, but still, it’s not a good feeling. Truly, it’s not.

So, if anyone out there has some helpful hints, PLEASE send them my way. Except, and I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, only if the tips don’t have anything to do with taking vitamins or herbs or other pills of any kind. Sorry, but I am just not into that. Now, if it’s an herbal tea…not Herbal Life…I might consider it. 

Also, if there are any women who would like to share their PMS stories, I would be happy to listen. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so abnormal. Either post it here or feel free to send me an email to confessionsofaformerfatgirl@gmail.com. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.

Also, for any newbie blog readers out there, you can also find Confessions of a Fat Girl on Facebook. Look me up and hit the like button. I would be happy to have you on board!

Solo race

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I ran my first solo race yesterday. This does not mean I was the only participant, it means that I did it by myself, as in my husband didn’t come with me. I was on my own.

I didn’t really plan on participating in this particular race (it was the 5K race in Glenwood for the Waterama fest). I decided the day before that I would run it. I knew my husband wasn’t able to make it and so maybe that is why I kind of blew it off. But then I decided, "What the heck! I can do it by myself!"

I have to admit, though, it felt weird. Yes, I know, I just wrote about how I wasn’t going to run with him and I am still sticking to that, but it just felt weird and I have to say, I kind of missed him.

I didn’t necessarily miss him when I was running because for the first time, I really just concentrated on me, myself and I. Weird and different, but nice. Not having him for that part was actually okay (sorry, honey!).

It was the not having him there at the beginning and the end that I missed. It was not being there together at the start and at the finish (even though we would have finished at different times), the talking together, the stretching together, the team effort, you know what I mean? We are a team and I like that part. I like having him there at the start because, really, I guess, he does energize me. It was strange. Really it was.

I am glad I did it, even though I did it alone. And actually, I wasn’t alone. I knew a few people there, which was pretty cool.

The race itself was grueling. There were two hills, which I am not used to. Not at all. Not even one little bit. I have done inclines, which I consider hills, but really, at yesterday’s race, I actually did two hills. One of them was a half-mile long. But I did it. I actually ran during the both hills. I did eventually walk a couple of times, but not on the hills. I ran those suckers.

Despite the two hills, the heat and humidity, walking at least twice, but maybe three times and the problem I have been having lately with my breathing and the feeling of wanting to throw up, I didn’t do too bad. My official time was 31:40. I’ll take that time. I’m not ashamed of it. I was actually pretty happy with it. 

And I was very happy to get back home. But not necessarily to see my hubby. I had a date with my massage lady at 11 a.m.!!!!! And boy, did it feel great.

Next up, my 20th year class reunion, which is next Saturday in Willmar. And then the Saturday after that is the 5K race in Elbow Lake for the Flekkefest. Thanks to my reader, Heather, for suggesting it. 

Oh, as far as my eating goes, I have to say I have been doing much better. I still have treats, which I am enjoying more and more and not feeling as guilty when I eat them as I used to. I am exercising at least four days a week if not five or six, so I figure, a treat every now and then is okay. I am maintaining my weight – it hovers between 140 to 142 pounds – so eating little treats like McDonald’s ice cream cones or a couple of glazed doughnut balls or several pieces of chocolate or a half of a white chocolate Kit Kat bar is not hurting me. 

For right now, I am happy with how things are going. I am happy with my exercise. I am happy with my eating habits. I am happy with my life. 

For right now, anyway!

A decision has been made

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Yesterday, I decided that my husband and I probably won’t be running together anymore…until our 10K race in Fargo this fall.

I have started running more for distance than speed and he hasn’t yet. Now that he’s been running more and more, he’s getting good when it comes to speed…at least for 5K races. Our last 5K race, which was July 17 in Henning, I finally got him to run without me about a third of the way into the race and I think he surprised himself. He did it 29:35; I did it in 31:29. 

Not that I am making excuses, although I know it really sounds like I am being a big whiny baby, but I am not sure what is going on with me. I have been having a very hard time with my breathing lately when I am running. After a couple of minutes of running, I feel like I am just sucking air big time. And honestly, it has been psyching me out. I kind of start panicking and then I have to slow down. Not sure what that’s all about, but I think part of it has to do with running with my husband.

You see, like I said, he’s been doing really well and when we run together, his pace is a little bit faster than mine and when I can’t keep up, I kind of psych myself out and then my breathing gets thrown off and then it just goes down hill from there. It’s totally not his fault and I don’t blame him. It is completely me and my stupidness. 

I KNOW, I KNOW…just relax and just run. Right? Well, it’s not that easy for me and because of that, yesterday, I declared that we can no longer run together. For right now, I just need to run by myself and concentrate on me and my breathing and my pace and my distance. I have been trying to get in at least five miles each time I go out for a run…so far, so good. Yesterday, my husband made it four miles and yes, his pace was slower than his three-mile runs, but it’s still faster than me. 

And there’s one more thing. We do our training/running differently. He likes to start out fast and end slow. I like to start a little slower, keep a somewhat consistent pace and then toward the end, pick it up and run like the wind. We’re just different that way and that’s okay. There is nothing wrong with it.

So, our next race together is on August 21 in Vining. I am going to suggest we just run it on our own and see what happens. I am also signed up for a 5K in Elbow Lake (thanks to a reader’s suggestion!) on August 7. My husband couldn’t make it, so I am running it with a friend. It should be fun!

Life…is much better!

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I am happy to announce that my healthy living journey is back on track…for the most part.

I have been tracking my food again and logging every morsel, at least for the past couple of days anyway. I did go through a short period where I didn’t log anything. That’s kind of when things started to spiral out of control. I really don’t know what it is about tracking, maybe it’s the accountability, but I tell you what, it sure makes a person think about his/her choices. And speaking of making choices, I have to share a post with you from my Confessions of a Fat Girl Facebook site: 

Be present in the moment – anything you ate yesterday doesn’t affect what you choose to eat today, and eating too much or the "wrong" thing doesn’t make you a bad or faulty person in any way. I find that saying "I can’t have that" is very different than "I’m choosing not to have that" – the latter is much more empowering to me. "Change" is something that happens in the moment, in the choice(s) that you make right now – though the comparisons to guage change are rooted in the past…

I absolutely loved this post. The guy who posted it was so completely right. Change happens in the moment. Absolutely. Also, one thing that I have lived by since I started this journey is the same as one of the things he said, "I can’t have that." I despise when people say that, especially if they add the words, "because I am on a diet." AARRGH, that just gets under my skin.

People, listen up, you CAN eat whatever you want. Truly, YOU CAN!

HOWEVER, and you knew this was coming, it’s all about portion control AND, it’s about exercising. Yes, if you eat fast food every single day and don’t exercise a lick, you will get fat (sorry, I know it’s harsh, but it’s the truth) and you will be unhealthy. Period. Same is true for junk food and sweets or other not-so-good-for-you foods.

BUT, and here it is again, YOU CAN eat that stuff, but not every single day and not in huge, stupidly ginormous portions. AND, you should exercise. I’m not saying you have to run marathons or participate in an Ironman, but do something. Get up and move. If you are a TV junkie, get up and move on the commercials. Jog in place, do some jumping jacks, squats, push ups, whatever, JUST MOVE! 

When it comes right down to it, we ARE in control of our own lives and what happens. And it really is simple. Eat unhealthy foods, move less, gain weight, get fat. Eat healthier foods, move more, lose weight or maintain, be not so fat.

So, there ya go. It’s that simple. Really. Or, is it?

I know it’s not, that’s why I struggle sometimes. It’s all a mind game. Really, it is. Or at least I believe that the majority of problems with eating and not being healthy is all in our minds. We just have to change the way we think.  We have to think more positively about ourselves and give ourselves more credit and believe that we can make the change. We are in control of our bodies and our minds. We just have to realize that. Right?

I challenge all of you to start believing in yourselves more and really pay attention to what you really want. If you want a healthier life, than go after it. Be positive about it. Don’t say you can’t eat that or you can’t eat this or you can’t do that or you can’t do this. If you want to eat that ice cream, then do it. But cut the portion if half. AND, add some exercise in there. If you want to try a different sport or a new exercise class, then do it. Take control of your life. Take control of your mind. Take control of your health.

It’s amazing what can happen when you do.

I will leave you with picture from last night. I finally did something I have been wanting to do for a very long time and it was incredibly fun!

Yes, I finally tried kayaking and now I know I can do it. And will definitely be doing it again.

Majorly bad choices…aargh!

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I may not be as fat of a girl as I used to be, but man do I have some confessions to make.

Since I started my journey to a healthier me, I have had a few days here and there where my choices haven’t been the best. But, WOW!, this is the first time I’ve made so many bad choices in a row. I have had the worst four days since I started this journey, which was in November of 2008. 

I had a great Fourth of July weekend, which I blogged about previously. But tell you what, Monday hit and I don’t think I’ve stopped eating since. See, the thing is, it is also that lovely time of month that us women all go through. But this is the worst I’ve had in probably five years. 

So, since Monday, let me give you a little run down on what has been shoveled into my mouth. Now keep in mind that what I am about to divulge to you wasn’t eaten all at once…it has been over a four-day period. (No pun intended!)

I have consumed the following: nearly a quart of ice cream and probably a half a cup of chocolate syrup, half a container of glazed cherry donut balls, at least six packages of fruit snacks, two Kit Kats, two Reese’s peanut butter cups, at least six Hershey kisses, two giant bowls of Froot Loops, which was probably half a box, four pieces of green olive pizza from a large pizza, probably six cups of oily popcorn and God knows what else. Plus, all my regular "healthy" meals I usually eat. 

Seriously, what is wrong with me? Can you say sugar overload. And then I wonder why the heck I’ve had a headache for the past couple of days. And exercising? Are you kidding me. I haven’t done a lick since Sunday. 

What the heck is going on?

I know one thing for sure…tomorrow, it all stops. No more. I need to stop. I have to stop. I WANT TO STOP. NOW.

Really, come one, it’s been a little ridiculous.

And now here is the weird part of it all…I haven’t gained any weight. I am at 142 pounds. On the nose. But I know if I keep it up, I will. So, I am jumping back on that horse and we are gonna giddy up into the sunset.

Whew! I already feel better. I got it all off my chest. Now, I need to run, I have a date tonight…with Jillian Michaels and she’s gonna kick my arse!

I need your help…

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As many of you know, my goal this summer is to run a 5k each month. My husband and I started in May with the Fargo 5K and then did the Osakis 5K in June and will do a 5K in Henning in July. In September, we are doing one in Alexandria. We planned on doing the 5K race in Hoffman in August, but I just found out it is the weekend I am going to be in Wisconsin having a mom and sisters weekend. Dang it.

So, I am now in search of a 5K race for August. I would love to find one within a 40 to 50-mile radius of Alexandria either the first weekend of August – the 6th, 7th or 8th – or the last weekend in August – the 27th, 28th or 29th. The third weekend of August is the Douglas County Fair and both my husband will be attending the fair; taking pictures for the newspaper and working in the Echo Press booth. 

We could maybe do a race that weekend as long as it was earlier morning on Saturday or Sunday, but it would have to be real close to Alexandria. 

So, if any of you who read this column know of a 5K race in the vicinity, please let me know. If you have a website I could check out, that would be great. I have been on the active.com website, along with pickleevents.com and haven’t really found anything. Although I wasn’t looking real hard. 

You can either post a comment here with information or please feel free to send me an email at confessionsofaformerfatgirl@gmail.com. That is confessions of a former fat girl at gmail dot com. 

Thanks so much!

Fun Fourth of July (Beware, long posting!)

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Well, I did it. I made it through the Fourth of July holiday with not much overeating and I even got some exercise in.

Every Fourth of July, my husband’s college buddies come and stay at our house. Most of the time, there’s at least seven to eight extra people staying at our house and most of the time, they always come on Friday and stay until Sunday or sometimes, Monday. This year, however, it was different. As the kids get older, all are teenagers now, our group seems to get smaller and smaller. 

On Friday, the one buddy and his wife and their two kids came, along my husband’s long-time friend who he grew up with and also went to college with. We made a deliciously healthy supper. We had steaks on the grill (but not big huge pieces; each steak was probably between four and six ounces), baked sweet potatoes, salad and baked beans. An interesting tidbit is that every single dressing on the table was either fat-free or light and not one single person complained and I think every single person had salad. I thought that was cool. It was also interesting that when I asked everyone before we ate if they liked sweet potatoes I got a lot of not-so-sure looks and some iffy, kind of puzzled looks. The answers were leaning more toward "not really" than "Yes, I love them!" 

Amazingly enough, everyone loved them and wished that I had made more. There was leftover steak, leftover salad and leftover beans, but not one piece of a sweet potato left. See, I make them different than what people are used to having. I think when most people think of sweet potatoes, they think of the mushy kind oozing with butter and brown sugar and all gooped up with marshmellows. EWW! GROSS! At least to me, anyway.

I scrub up my sweet potatoes like regular potatoes and then cut them into cubes and put them on a cookie sheet sprayed with butter-flavored Pam and then spray them again once they are all on the pan and sprinkle them with sea salt. I bake them in a 375-400 degree oven for about 45 minutes. At the end, I usually turn the broiler on and brown the tops of them. To me, they taste like candy. Yes, they are that good. Everyone…and I mean everyone…oohed and ahhed over my sweet potatoes. Yep, it was pretty cool.

Anyway, we didn’t do much Friday night…just sat around outside and talked. They all drank, but I didn’t. For some reason and really, I am not sure why, but I don’t drink when they are all here. I did have two small glasses of wine with my meal, but that was it. I kind of like to watch them get all stupid. I also like to wake up feeling great and not all hung over. Which, I have to say, I loved because on Saturday morning, I got up and ran four miles! Well, I guess it wasn’t morning, it was mid-morning. I made it out around 11 a.m. It was not the best four miles I have ever done, but considering it was hot, humid and windy, I didn’t do too bad. That was by far the worst weather I have ran in. It was terrible. Awful, really. But I did it and I was happy and proud.

After everyone got ready, we all went to Subway and grabbed a bite to eat. It’s tradition and I kind of like it. We then headed out to the lake place where the 25th annual Edenloff Fourth of July celebration took place. It was so much fun. Sad, too, because this is the first year my in-laws weren’t at the party. We all miss them very much. We lit some fireworks off in their honor and there were many toasts to them throughout the night. I think every single person there knew my in-laws and were touched by them in one way or another. They were definitely missed.

Yes, there was tons of food, but I did so good. I was so proud of myself. I had one piece of veggie pizza and two plates full of fruit and then one and a half bars that were like seven-layer bars but without the coconut. OMG, they were so good. Typically, I would have probably, and honestly, eaten at least four or five bars. I only ate one and a half and I was so happy with myself. I also was happy that I didn’t eat any of the deliciously good lookin’ brownies that were on the table. I also didn’t drink any alcohol…I was the designated driver for some in our group, as was my son and the other licensed teenage driver in our group. I really, really, don’t mind and I love, love, love waking up feeling great!

For the first time in about four or five years, I actually joined in on the volleyball games. We play every year and I normally don’t play, but this year I did and I am so glad because it was so much fun and great exercise. We played five games. Our team only won two! But we were okay with it. We had five players on each team and again, it was so much fun!

On Sunday, we ended up going back out to the lake and if I would have known it was going to be so gorgeous out there, I would have brought my swimsuit (yes, I did finally buy one!). When we left to go out there, our plan was to just go and make sure everything was picked up and bring some of the garbage back with us. The weather was overcast and kind of crummy. But, after a few minutes after we arrived, the sun came out and it was absolutely gorgeous out there. We stayed a lot longer than planned because we couldn’t leave, it was too nice. 

Sunday was probably my worst day for eating and I think it’s because when I woke up, I weighed myself and had actually lost a pound. For some reason, I think that made me think it was okay to indulge in stupid food. We ate at Bennigan’s for lunch I had a plain hamburger on a wheat bun and sweet potato fries. Well, at that restaurant, you can get a second helping of your side dish, like fries or salad, for free. So, yes, I had two helpings of sweet potato fries and yes, they were so good! It didn’t even bother me that I ate that many. I really didn’t even care.

At the lake, there were E.L. Fudge cookies on the counter and I indulged in them as well. I think I ate six. Yes, six friggin’ cookies. Stupid? Yes. Did I really regret it? No. They were delicious. 

Well, today is Monday and I am in the midst of doing a dozen loads of laundry. I will be heading out for a run later this evening and we might even head out to the lake later this afternoon, just for a bit. Tomorrow, it’s back to normal and I can’t wait!

Short, funny and cute story

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Last night, I crawled into bed before my husband, which is really not a surprise to anyone who knows me because I always tend to go to bed early. Last night, however, I didn’t.

And for some reason, whenever I crawl in to bed, I love to pull the blankets completely up and over my head so you really can’t seem me…other than the big lump under the blankets in the middle of the bed. 

Well, when my husband walked into the room, he said, "You know, your not as big of a hump in the bed anymore."

I kind of chuckled and said, "What?"

He said, "You know. I can barely see that you’re in there."

He was talking about the shape of my body under the blankets. He said I didn’t make as big of a hump, which I think he meant lump or bump, under the blankets. I didn’t stick up as much.

I started laughing really hard. Then, I thought to myself, "That is the best compliment ever!"

Thanks, honey!

Dinner for one?

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I just made a great supper…and it was all for me. Both my husband and son are gone for the evening and so I was on my own for supper. I am used to having my husband here and grilling us up something magnificent, but not tonight. I made an easy meal, but it was quite tasty. I may have wrote about it before, but I can’t remember, so I am writing about it again.

My total meal was only six WW points. And believe it or not, it was pasta. Cheesy pasta!

My ingredients:
2 ounces (uncooked) Fiber Gourmet pasta (You can find this at www.fibergourmet.com) – 2 pts.
1 Boca burger – 1 pt.
1 8-ounce can of tomato sauce – 1 pt.
1/2 tablespoon basil – we buy the jarred kind that can be found in the produce section
1 wedge Light Laughing Cow Cheese – 1 pt.
1 tablespoon reduced-fat parmesan cheese (the Great Value brand found at Walmart, it’s the kind that comes in a shaker) – 0 pts.
1 ounce Presidént fat-free feta cheese – crumbled – 1 pt

Here’s what I did:
You obviously cook the pasta like you normally would. Then, for the sauce, you put the whole can of tomato sauce in a pan and warm it up (I think next time, I will use the no salt added kind of tomato sauce); add the basil, the parmesan cheese and then I cut the wedge of cheese up into pieces before putting in the sauce. I let this come to a simmer and cook as long as it takes the pasta to cook, which is about 10 minutes. I take the Boca burger and put it in a frying pan to cook it. Once it’s done, I cut it up and put it in the sauce. When the pasta is done, I drain it and then put it in a bowl and pour the sauce over the top. I crumble the fat-free feta cheese on top. Now, if I would’ve had some broccoli, I probably would have added some because then, I get my veggies in, too. It’s pretty simple, very tasty and super filling.

If you try it, I hope you enjoy it. I sure did.