Relapse?

Yesterday was not a good day…as far as food went. I did something yesterday that I haven’t done in more than a year and I wasn’t very proud of it, yet at the same time, I didn’t care.

We were having our good friends over for dinner, which I couldn’t wait for. We had a great menu – a somewhat healthy menu – planned. We had pears and Havarti cheese and green and kalamata olives to start off with. For dinner, we ate grilled cocoa and chili rubbed pork tenderloin, grilled bell peppers and grilled eggplant with a cumin and garlic viniagrette. Of course, we had wine to go with it. I had figured out my Weight Watcher points ahead of time and was feeling good about the evening.

Prior to our friends coming over, my husband was getting things prepared and he realized we were missing a couple of ingredients that we forgot to pick up at the store earlier. I volunteered to run back to the grocery store for him to get the four items he needed.

We have one grocery store in town that when you walk in the door, there is a tabled filled with deliciously, tempting goodies from the bakery stacked on it. There’s brownies, cookies, holiday treats, fudge, cake, pie and more. I walked down the one side, eyeing some really good looking fudge and then continued my way around the table instead of going straight like I should have. The whole time I am walking around the table, I have this image in my head of the devil sitting on one of my shoulders and a little angel sitting on the other shoulder.

Guess who won? At the very end of the table was a package of homemade coconut macaroons. One of my favorite treats and something I haven’t had in probably two or three years. Yep, I bought them. Yep, I opened them as soon as I got in my car. Yep, I devoured them. There were twelve in the package. I ate five. F-I-V-E!!!! And that was before I got to the stoplights about a mile down the road.

I wanted more. I seriously could have eaten all of them. I am not kidding even though I wish I was. The whole time I am chowing down on them, I am thinking to myself, "What are doing, Celeste? You know this is stupid. You know you are going to regret it." But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t resist. AARGHHHH!!!

Before I could eat anymore, I closed the package and shoved it under my seat…something I have done in a very long time. So then I wondered, am I relapsing?

No, I am not. I will not convert to my old ways. Never. It was just an impulse. I will not do that again.

Will I?

4 thoughts on “Relapse?

  1. Must have been the day for that! On Wednesday, I bought a package of 100 calorie Little Debbie Nutty Bars. (They aren’t reduced calorie, just packaged in single proportion and a bit smaller bar, so if you have will power, you’ll just eat one at a time). I had one in the car & left the package there, thinking, if I don’t bring them in the house, they’ll last longer. That worked until yesterday; I brought them in and I have now devoured six of them since yesterday. I’ve discovered I have absolutely no will power! Uggghh!

  2. We all have days like that! Don’t be too hard on yourself. 10 minutes of weakness does not make a relapse. Just tell yourself: “Well, I got that out of my system for a while” and carry on!