As we walked around the grocery store picking up ingredients for a new fajita recipe we were going to try, my husband and I were looking at the deli section and what I call the "fun" cheeses.
He said, "Do you want to try some and experiment with the wine we are having tonight."
I said, "No," thinking I wasn’t really in the mood for a wine and cheese night. I was really hungry for those fajitas.
He said, "Oh, that’s right. Cheese isn’t good for you."
I said, "No, not really, but it’s not like I’m never going to eat cheese again."
That really made me think. Will I ever eat that kind of cheese again? What about real ice cream? What about cake and cookies and donuts? What about ripple-style potato chips and French onion dip or Doritos or Cheetos or caramel popcorn? What about cheesy lasagna or creamy, cheesy, alfredo-y pasta or cheesy, pepperoni and olive pizza?
I have been focused so hard the last six and a half months on eating healthy and trying to make a lot of our non-healthy recipes healthy that I truly didn’t think about the fact that this is what it is…a lifestyle change. It is journey. It’s not a diet where once I get to the weight I want I stop doing what I am doing.
I don’t want to quit eating an apple and orange every day. I don’t want to stop eating two to four servings of veggies a day. I don’t want to stop teaching my son about portion sizes and that eating a plate-size portion of steak is not healthy in any sense of the word. I want my son to see me be in control of my eating and not lose control when I have a bad day. I want him to see me exercise at least four times a week.
I want my son and my husband and myself to feel good about ourselves and the choices we make. I don’t want us to feel bad if we do have that bowl of ice cream…as long as it’s once a month, not two or three times a week. I want to eat fun cheese and try it with different wines…as long as it’s once in a while, not four times a month. I want to have my cake and eat it, too…as long as it’s not the whole cake and I am the only one eating it while I am watching some sappy-ass movie because I am home alone and no one will no because I will get rid of the evidence. Been there, done that, didn’t like it.
For right now, I am happy where I am at. Truly happy. I am happy with my eating habits and I am finally getting happy about my exercise habits. I am only about six pounds away from my goal weight. Something I never thought would have happened six months ago.
I am happy with my life. Period. Are you?